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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Riil's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 11th, 2008
10:22 pm
heading back today
sorry haven´t been updating much while in finland but there are very few internet cafes and the keyboards are finnish as are all the internet options!!

heading back today and will be arriving in Perth in two days time.
Thursday, December 27th, 2007
2:47 pm
still in finland
weather has kept between 1 and 4 degrees so much warmer than expected.

69% of finland is still forest so there are many forest walks and trees and squirrels. No moose yet.

quite dark mostr of the time, only daylight for a couple of hours around 12 pm, twilight at best for the rest of it.

Only get light around 10 am or so.

Hard and expensive to get to internet cafes at the moment.

12 aussie dollars to catch the train!!!!
Wednesday, December 19th, 2007
12:48 pm
¨MOVING SCHOOLS - IN Finland atm
Just letting people know that I) have fi9nally transferred schools.

Heading to south of perth now.

Using a finnish keyboard so bit odd typing and on a timer in the library.
Currentlyu in Hyvinkaa, Finland - will be here for a month and currently have no adress >LOL

My karate school had to close down as I am moving :(

TEMPERATURE is currently 2 degrees mostof the time and apparently no-one say6s hello to each other in Finland. seems a bit odd.

Pine trees everywhere - even in thwe middle of the capital Helsinki.

I am within driving distance of Perth now so catching up withpeople is now definite rather than very unlikely.

Will update when i find an internet cafe rather than a library :)

look forward to carching up with people when I am back in Australia

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
6:08 am
Our family is heading to Perth for the christmas holidays.

We will be in Perth from 23rd of December to the 5th of January.

Hope to see everyone there!
Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
4:53 pm
worn out
With the kids being hypo and rude aand threatening, a graduate 'colleague' trying to backstab me for helping them, doing afterschool tutoring, karate classes and the rest of it I am WORN OUT!!!


Waaaaah - Daddy evil monsters are trying to eat me and other kids I don't know.

*Soothes daughter*

1:30 I'm scared of ghosts.
Daddy sleep in daughters bed till 3am.

Did I mention I am worn out?

Reporting still not working at our school yet *sheesh*
Apparently we all have to use 11 pt and change everything because MOST people didn't read instructions and used 11 instead of 12. ack!!!!

My kids are passing but many are failing in maths and chemistry.....

Why? I am not that good a teacher and physics is not usually considered easier than chem or maths.... is it?
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
8:36 pm
Well Riilthorne now has home internet!!
too bad the keyboard is stuffed :)

Boy have things been busy.

Physics exam, karate class, afterschool tutoring, dance class AND trying to have a life.

Drat - I'm turning into Firefly!! :)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
10:59 am
Well discovered the likely culprit who 'apparently had' but hadn't actually read my live journal and made some trouble for me at school. It was someone I had tried to help but thought I was attacking lol.

Anyway I am currently in Perth have PD on the OBE Physics course for next year but will be somewhat free on Wednesday and if someone wants to join me going to Fremantle markets Friday night that would be nice.

I will be leaving 5am Saturday morning and I will be at PD till 3:30 pm on Thursday and Friday.
Silent rob I have brought my gear and your bowling bag.
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
12:15 pm
locking my entries
hmm - I thought I would never have to lock my entries in LJ.

But I guess anything to do with school will now have to be locked friends only.

Could friends who are able to read these not comment on these entries to other people since my entries are now 'under observation' by the mysterious school spy?

I guess it would have been more professional to lock those account s a long time ago.
But I guess I have seriously under-estimated how read my LJ is by people I have never met or even had reply to my entries.


Current Mood: annoyed
12:08 pm
I have been reported by someone for my posts about the school I work at.

So I am now editing all my entries.

I think I would prefer someone had contacted me on here instead, even if anonymously.
Or was it a friend of a friend.

things are never as simple as you would think are they?
Sunday, March 12th, 2006
6:53 am
back to the back of beyond
Well, leaving Perth today to head back to ______________.

Will miss the time I got to spend with all my lovely friends.

(Vegetus - did I mention you looked GORGEOUS in your outfit on Saturday?
- post up some pics for Allurium)

But I also get back my sick family and of course my computer LOL

And those cheery eager faces at school of course.

catch ya guys later!
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
12:06 pm
funeral speech part 2
My father led a simple life. He liked few things better than to sit in the backyard, watching the evening pass with his dogs on his lap. Maybe the occasional flutter on the horses on Saturday, perhaps a quick beer at the pub with a few mates. A simple life but a good one.

I believe that Bob had 3 main goals in his life.

1] Many of you may have heard this one. "I don't want to owe anybody anything" *hand motion*

2] He wanted his children to succeed

3] He wanted to have his family safe, happy and supported.

Bob achieved these things.

He started as one of the highest paid printers in Perth, began his own company which he later sold and used the profits to pay off the mortgage on his house. Through his hard work he supported them and left them with a family home owned outright.

His youngest son is finishing his course at TAFE, his eldest works as as a Physics teacher and karate instructor, with his own wife and children. He has seen us buy our first home.
I am modestly confident that he is proud of the men his sons have become and that he loves the wife and mother he haws left behind.

He has made the mark he wanted on the world and is now free to do what he possibly loved best.

He can drop the load of responsibility he carried, pick up his swag and explore and travel to new expanses and new horizons.

Dad we wish you all good luck on your newest journey and God speed.

We love you.
11:57 am
Speech for the funeral part 1
Before I give the eulogy for my father I would like to share with all of you some of my thoughts over the week.

The death of a loved one is a sad time, a painful time.
Yet even death is a part of life and as with each experience contains within it both positives and negatives.

We are her today to farewell a good man but as we have been so kindly reminded it is a time to celebrate and appreciate the life he led. Yet perhaps even more importantly it is a time to reflect.
This is an opportunity to sit here and evaluate our own lives, away from bills, work and the other million things that seem so essential yet often take us away from what is really important.

Bob was taken from us suddenly, without warning. As he went so could any of us.
Whether it be illness, accident or misadventure. Each of us this very day as we leave this very cemetery could be killed in a car crash. Today, now like that *snaps fingers*

With that thought in your minds I ask you....

Have you lived the life you wanted? Have you achieved the things that you really consider important?
Have you helped friends in need when they needed it? Have you told your friends and family how much they mean to you and how much you love them for the wonderful people they really are? Is there someone you have a feud or argument with, that should you or they die, would be regretted for the rest of your life?

I simply ask that you take some time today to ask yourselves these questions.
8:45 am
Well I am planning on leaving on Sunday
Well this will be my last possible social event really.
I am going to the vegie dinner, anyone who wants to say goodbye to me this would be a good time.
(hope vegie people don't mind me co-opting this a little)

Perth Veg Dinner

11th March, 6:30pm at The Lotus (2/220 James Street, Northbridge). All welcome, but let Vegetus know so she can pass numbers on to the organisers.

I have run myself a little ragged trying to catch up with people and deal with stuff and I am sorry to those I missed, or those who felt slighted by not having enough of my wonderful personality! ;p

Well last few preps for the funeral catch yas!
8:33 am
Funeral Today
My father's funeral is today at 2 pm at Karrakatta cemetary.

I think I would prefer if my friends don't turn up as I would prefer to just focus on my family and my farewell to my dad.

I appreciate the support shown and if people could just give 30 seconds of silence at 2 pm today that would be a nice show of further support.

Thanks everyone.
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
12:02 am
I love my friends
Ladies first:

Allurium: my dream girl who months later became my girlfriend and then my soul mate. Much of each day I spend thinking how I can make you happier. You deserve all the love and happiness I can give. Thankyou for each day in your company and the love you have brought to my life.

Min a Lin: You will always have a special place in my heart. Your caring, love of life and quite simply the person you are has added a lot of enjoyment (and at times frustration :) )to my life. I feel blessed to know you and to have the time to talk to you that often ease my soul.

Alkland: What a wonderful and lovely young lady you are. Your consideration of others and general wonderfulness makes you loved by pretty much all who know you. That you kept in touch with us when most others didn't meant so much more to us than I think you will ever guess. I truly treasure the times we have had together and I am SOOOO pleased by your latest conquest! Go get him girl. If anyone deserves a catch like him it's you!

Sonnlich: Your concern and affection have always been a constant I can rely on. You have always been there when needed and a truer friend would be hard to find. Trust that the friends worth having will always find a way to be with you. Trust that you are worth loving. When you learn this you just may realise that many others already know this.

Tazaria: Been difficult to stay in touch with you recently you little gestator you! :) We love you and I am glad that I get to meet the little lady before she's due. Need any advice or help, call and we shall try to provide. Don't let her completely dominate your life, just most of it!

The guys:

hmm the guys have not been heavily in contact with me despite most of them knowing me in LJ and HT.
Stern look at all of them.

Ataxi: Remember you are still my daughters godfather. Ring sometime and get to know her. I expect you guys to have some kind of relationship before she becomes a teenager and needs advice from you!
nuff said!
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
10:45 pm
Don't really feel like sleeping. Feel like admitting deep,dark secrets but can't think of any..

Any suggestions? Any questions anyone might want to ask?

Maybe I'll just ramble on.

I must admit this time round I realise how much I miss being able to get in touch with friends.
Past few years I have been pretty busy. Yet I have also been enjoying my time teaching up here.
I seem to be designed (by temperament if not effectiveness) to teach up here.

My karate background means I feel safe even if I was threatened by the kids.
My detachment combined with my caring for others means I can be very patient and cop the occasional abuse without emotional reaction.
My wit and humour (Yes I do have some!) means I can gain respect and rapport with the kids while de-escalating some of the bullying and verbal abuse.

I wish I knew if my teaching was worthwhile. Is any of it getting through?
Do the kids not wanting to learn actually get something from time in my classroom than just socialising and preparing for a dole queue? Should I just be focusing on kids doing the work or should I be discussing the 'real world' and some of it's problems?
Should I keep trying to get the kids to understand it is ok to be gay?

*sigh* also going through a bit of a mid-life crisis of sorts. (Does this mean I die at 62 like my Dad has?)

Most of my life I have been angry and had goals to aim for. (Being bullied in primary school may have warped me but it also gave me some drive, worth it? I'll never know...)

I won karate tournaments. I have over 80 trophies.
I have done well in fencing, rapier fighting (even got a medal fro E grade penants once!)

Did my engineering degree and Quantum Physics.

Have a family and placed my gene pool into the general population.

I am even running a karate dojo and doing after school tutoring.

But now what? The anger is not so easy to reach anymore. I have no immediate goals that I can dedicate each day to. Relaxation and hedonism was ok for a while but now even computer game playing seems to pall.

I am currently living my life as a form of service to others but I feel there should be more to it. I am reading, researching and trying to practice spirituality more (I think even making progress!) even to the point of attending Mormon church every 2nd Saturday.

hmm off topic ramble. As i was saying I am starting to realise how much I miss my friends. Mainly missing that one-on-one time where you get to talk regularly with friends, forge that sense of intimacy that separates good friends from friendly acquantances. Damnit my body and spirit seems ready to cry but the damn eyes do not seem to agree.

Crying is so important. It is one of the gifts that I treasure most as a human.
To be able to release the feelings inside, to purge, to tranform to simply express whats inside is so important in my opinion. The idea that people shouldn't cry and should be tough really annoys the crap out of me. Maybe public crying is not a good idea in this society but crying itself has always seemed like such a blessing in my life.

Cry. To put all the sadness, pain and misery into one action, one transforming gesture. To give all of yourself to this one action to express the very 'nowness' of your very self. The full acknowledgement of who and what you are in this painful second of your life. To almost enjoy the poignancy of your own feelings, the richness of your experiences and to then act them out to your fullest potential.

To do all this and then let as much of that pain just flow away, leaving yourself renewed (though tired) and with a greater of measure of peace within yourself than when you started.
This is what 'simply crying' is to me.

That this is currently denied to me makes me curious. And perhaps a little angry.
10:39 pm
You scored as Engineer. YOUR AN ENGINEER!!!












What kinda job r u meant to be..?
created with QuizFarm.com
10:13 pm
feeling down?
I think I am feeling down. How can I not be sure?

Tired from poor sleep. Saddened and shocked by the passing of my father. Far away from my family and home. I also suspect hormones are out of whack due to lack of 'sexual regularity'.
Also spent time with 2 of my closest (and attractive) friends which has further knocked my feelings around in a spin.

One of these lovely ladies (who I know did not mean to be nasty!!) acted very surprised when I said it was time for me to go. "You never choose to leave, you only go when you are kicked out"

I must admit my current fragile state meant I took this a bit more close to home than perhaps I should. So I thought about this. She is right. I did have to be kicked out of people's houses before I left. Why?

1] Main reason. I dislike social protocol and politeness. If someone wants me to go I would like them to tell me. I don't want to try to read subtle hints or body postures. They are yawning. Is this a hint to go home? Are they just tired but they would really like me to stay?
Am I leaving because I detected a subtle body cue or because I have low self esteem?

2] I guess I just love company. I am so serious when I am by myself. Yet often a (well try to be!!) funny, friendly guy who cares about others when in company.

I wonder how often I have impinged upon the good will and politeness of others in my attempt to break through layers of politeness and social conditioning? My 'experiment' (stubborness?) has certainly failed in it's task. I imagine that it is simply just put down as another 'eccentricity' for Riilthorne that well meaning and weird young (???) man.

Now I put a bit mmore faith in my ability to pick up cues, annoying as this may be. As a male I am probably still missing a few but hey I'm trying right?
10:04 pm
Social mask or more?
Recently thinking in the shower.
Some people put forward the idea that we wear different social masks depending on the different situations we face. ie different 'persona' for our friends who we want to be honest with yet still like us, compared to work mates who we usually want mainly respect.

It occurred to me that this idea though fitting the circumstances and thus coming forward as a reasonable paradigm is overly negative and could cause many people to have a warped perception of themselves and of their 'true nature'

I think it would be a nicer, fairer view to say that in certain circumstances we project or emphasize certain aspects of our core personality. Our strength and anger combined with our potential for destruction when faced with danger. Care and concern when a friend is in need.

What is the difference you ask?

The masks idea suggests that we are always pretending to be something we are not. That we are always falsifying our nature and never truly being who we are. Yet how can anything not be truly what they are? Pretending to be something is just as true to your nature in certain circumstances as being 'genuine' is in others.

You are always true to your nature.

How close this nature is to the values and morals you say you espouse is another matter.
Monday, March 6th, 2006
7:23 am
For those of you who are worried about me....
It seems despite recent events things are still good for me...

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